Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
