she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
