I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize