4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
