I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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