Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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