i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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