Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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