think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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