$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
