I just made out with a guy for $7.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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