come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
