dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize