i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
