i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
