I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
