i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
