u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize