I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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