i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
