I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
