Life is so much better after having sex.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
