this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
