She said her name was "party"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize