he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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