I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
