I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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