K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
no you cant smoke seaweed
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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