I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
