hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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