What a fucking waste of an outfit
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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