belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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