got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize