hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize