I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
