Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
