im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
