she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
