the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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