It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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