can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
