i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
