Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
