What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
