***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
