I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize