the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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