his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
