He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
