I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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