I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
