TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
