he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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