Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
