U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize