I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love you. Go after that dick
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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