So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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