Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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