Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
