Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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