i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
