I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
