i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
