I heard we made out
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
