Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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