Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
