I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize