Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
