Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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