We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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