Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
