I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize