There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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