The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize