i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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