my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
